


Have

by Alyssa_Allyrion



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Physical Abuse, Pre-Canon, if you like silva and/or think he is a good father you will not like this, poor Illumi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:56:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29726574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyssa_Allyrion/pseuds/Alyssa_Allyrion
Summary: “Oh,” Illumi said, looking at Hisoka, “I understand now. You want to do what father does.”It was Hisoka’s turn to be confused.“What does your father do?” he asked.Surely, Illumi hadn’t meant what he said.“Has me. On occasion,” Illumi replied in an unsettlingly calm manner.
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Comments: 20
Kudos: 173





	Have

**Author's Note:**

> I usually like writing light hearted Hisoillus but this came out kind of dark. 
> 
> ~~Pls take away the keyboard or I might write part 2 lol~~
> 
> Rated M just to be on the safe side.
> 
> Pre-canon, Illumi is 16/17 and Hisoka is 18/19.

Hisoka looked around, taking in the sight of bloody red ruins of mafia member corpses on the mansion floor, and smiled. _The day was off to an excellent start._ The rush from the fight made familiar heat pool in Hisoka’s lower stomach. _I’ll take care of it soon,_ he thought, absent-mindedly. 

However, the excitement from the fight paled in comparison to the pleasure Hisoka felt from watching Illumi kill. Illumi had contacted him earlier, asking for assistance with the mission, and Hisoka was very glad that he did not refuse. Watching dark delight bloom on Illumi’s face as life left his target’s bodies made Hisoka feel tingly with arousal. The way Illumi moved, so skillful and refined, betrayed an impressive fighting experience – and an incredible potential. 

_It would be most delightful to fight him in a few years,_ Hisoka thought, heat spreading through his body, _Ah, I can hardly wait._

As he watched Illumi, whose pale face was splattered with their victims’ blood, extracting his needles out of dead bodies, Hisoka knew that there was something else he could not wait for any longer. After all, it’s been a while since he’d been trying to take their partnership to a…new level and seeing Illumi today had pushed him over the edge. 

“You know,” Hisoka said, walking over to Illumi, who was now leaning against the wall, cleaning the blood off the needles, “You were quite the sight today.”

“Next time we work together, don’t interfere with me killing targets,” Illumi said flatly, as he looked up at Hisoka. 

“Oh, so there will be a next time, Illu?” Hisoka chuckled, taking another step towards him. Their faces were now inches apart. 

“That next time might be your last,” Illumi replied, “I’ll kill you if you try that again.”

 _Don’t; say things like that,_ Hisoka thought, feeling a jolt of arousal run up his spine, _I can hardly control myself._

“And if I kiss you?” Hisoka murmured, looking Illumi in the eye. 

“Wha-” Illumi started, but Hisoka did not let him finish. 

He closed the distance between them and kissed Illumi – hungrily, passionately, eagerly. For a split second, Illumi tried pushing him away, then suddenly, his arms fell to his sides. His mouth felt soft and cold and pliant and Hisoka immediately deepened the kiss. His fingers snaked through Illumi’s long dark hair, as Hisoka pulled him closer, wanting Illumi to realize just how much Hisoka was enjoying the situation. 

When he finally pulled away, he noticed that Illumi’s facial expression seemed blanker than usual and his eyes darker. 

“Illu, seeing you kill made me so excited,” Hisoka said, voice dripping honey, “I’d like nothing more than to have you right here, right now.”

“Have me?” Illumi asked, confusion evident on his face. 

Hisoka looked at Illumi, a little surprised at the question. Illumi never struck him as particularly innocent, but maybe he was simply unfamiliar with this turn of phrase. With a smirk, Hisoka leaned over and whispered into Illumi’s ear, describing in filthiest, most explicit terms he could think of what exactly he wanted to do with him. 

He had hoped to at least make Illumi blush, but when he pulled away, there was not a drop of pink on Illumi’s pale cheeks. 

“Oh,” Illumi said, looking at Hisoka, “I understand now. You want to do what father does.”

It was Hisoka’s turn to be confused. 

“What does your father do?” he asked. _Surely, Illumi hadn’t meant what he said._

“Has me. On occasion,” Illumi replied in an unsettlingly calm manner. 

Hisoka stared at him wide-eyed. He knew, of course, that the Zoldycks were no ordinary family, but this…This seemed too far, even for them. 

“You are telling me that your father fucks you – on occasion?” Hisoka clarified, just to be sure, and Illumi nodded. 

It was as though Hisoka had stepped into ice cold water – in an instant, all excitement was gone from his body. He knew his friend had his issues, but this…seemed far even for him. He stared at Illumi – there was an unfamiliar look on his face. _It was as though all will to live had left him._

“Do you…do you want him to?’ Hisoka asked, not knowing why the words have left his mouth. _I an being an idiot,_ he thought angrily, _I should just leave and carry on with the day._ Hisoka had enjoyed his share of strange things in life, but this…this felt sick, disgusting and twisted and he wanted to get as far away from it as he could. And yet for some reason he could not move. 

“No,” Illumi shook his hand, “But it’s not like he ever asks me – he just does it when he feels like it.”

Hisoka felt his skin crawl as he noticed the lifeless expression in Illumi’s eyes. Though Illumi was speaking in his regular, upbeat tone, Hisoka could sense something broken under the surface. Looking over Illumi, he’d realized that he had never seen him look so vulnerable before. _Was this why he went so still when I kissed him?_

“Have you tried telling him?” the question escaped Hisoka’s lips before he could think it through, “Or fighting him off?”

He knew Illumi likely was not strong enough to kill his father, but he could definitely injure him quite badly. 

“I tried to speak to him about it when I was younger,” Illumi replied, not meeting Hisoka’s gaze, “But it was to no avail. And no, I would not fight him. He is my father, after all, and he had put so much effort into raising and training me – how could I say no or raise my hand to him?”

The words did not sound like they were Illumi’s own and left Hisoka wondering how someone managed to play such twisted tricks upon his mind. Hisoka looked at Illumi who suddenly looked so much younger and more vulnerable than he ever had and found himself wanting to comfort him. _Well, that is new._

“Maybe you can talk to your mother? Or grandfather? Surely, they could talk some sense into your father,” Hisoka offered weakly. 

Hisoka did not know why he felt so invested. Whenever someone would pour their heart out to him, he’d usually mock and tease them mercilessly, but for some reason this situation felt different. 

“Mother said that it was alright,” Illumi replied quietly, “And that things like this sometimes happen in a family. And grandfather…I don’t think he cares much about anything these days.”

Silence fell upon them. Hisoka had no idea what to say or do – having spent most of his time chasing the thrill of fight and other pleasures of life, he felt utterly unequipped to deal with the situation. 

“Besides,” Illumi added very quietly, “Father said that if I behave, he would not…try this with Milluki – or Killua.”

Hisoka did not know what came over him, but he reached out and wrapped his arms around Illumi, pulling him in for a hug. At first, Illumi was tense against him, but soon his body relaxed. He did not know how long they stood like that when suddenly he could feel Illumi shudder with quiet sobs. Hisoka held him even closer. 

“Illu, you and your siblings need to get out,” Hisoka told him as he stroked his hair. 

“We could leave, but we’ll never be free from them,” Illumi replied quietly, “We are family, after all.”

Hisoka sighed. He was not known for helping other people out, but for some reason he just couldn’t stay away. 

_Illumi could not reach his true potential living in a house like that, which would be a waste,_ Hisoka tried rationalizing his feelings, _Besides, I wanted to fight Silva anyways. So what if it helps Illumi and his siblings out._

He was not sure this was true – and yet he did not care. 

_Illumi would probably want to fight me if I kill his father,_ Hisoka told himself, _This way I can reach all three goals with just one kill._

_And if it helps Illumi what’s the harm in that?_


End file.
